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With all the scrutiny on megabank JPMorgan’s relationship with the now dead sex offender Jeffery Epstein, Treasury secretary Janet Yellen has called for less regulations on the banking sector. “The banks are the backbone of our economy and have a special privilege not only to print money out of thin air, but to also facilitate money laundering”, she said in a press conference. She continued, “Periodically, we will slap them on the wrist with a fine to present an image of fairness and law, but with current market conditions, it is clear that we need them to play fast and loose. Facilitating banking for child trafficking and drug trafficking are important streams of revenue for banks that should not be impeded in such a volatile time”.

Yellen’s comments were a surprise to many as it showed a clear break in the narrative that bitcoin is used as the exclusive currency of criminals. The comments may have unintended consequences as the dollar took a plunge and there was a massive outflow of capital from U.S. Treasuries. France had recently banned “privacy coins” for their alleged use in crime. As a result, France may have to ban the use of the U.S. dollar.

Many individuals, such as Christine Lagarde, a convicted felon who is the head of the European Central Bank, have historically been critical of cryptocurrency’s usage, reacted to Yellen’s comments in shock. “Banks are the most integrous institutions in the world”, said Lagarde. “Without banks, the world would not have progressed. Banks have been blocking criminals from accessing financial services for generations. If we were to deregulate them, criminals would run free and we could not have that. It’s important to block individuals’ attempts towards financial freedom, so that we as a global society will have freedom. I find Janet Yellen’s comments disgusting and dangerous. We may need to consider sending her on a trip to Dallas like they did to JFK.”

The hostility continued as Yellen responded angrily to Lagarde’s comments. “The U.S. is the most regulated and restrictive financial market in the world. European banks have a much easier time laundering money than American banks and it makes American banks less competitive. You know it’s true, Christine, so quit trying to pretend like you are on a high horse. Everyone knows that you have bought bitcoin secretly and illegally as was shown by your leaked text messages. Also, you are a convicted felon! You have no right to threaten to have me assassinated when you yourself are a crook and a danger to the global financial order.”

This marked one of the strangest and most transparent exchanges between two international financial titans. Strangely, despite the importance of this debate, it is shockingly not being covered in major newspapers or network television. Only a few sites such as the Epoch Times and Zero Hedge have run the story. It is not unusual for major news outlets to completely overlook the most important news stories, but this one seems to be intentionally ignored.

Former presidential candidate Ron Paul discussed the back and forth on his show The Liberty Report. “This is just a function of fiat currencies dying. Of course they are fighting each other. They know they are on a sinking ship and time is running out. I knew that when I was in Congress, but there was no way that I could change anything. I wanted to wake people up to the fact that the system was rotten. Lagarde threatened to have Yellen assassinated for goodness sake. Central bankers will stop at nothing to control you. That is why it’s so important to ‘End the Fed’.”

Paul’s comments were echoed by many Twitter users. “End the Fed” has been trending on Twitter as many individuals are waking up to the role that banking institutions, including central banks, play in criminal activity. Many individuals began pointing out that Ross Ulbricht was sentenced to a prison cell for life for less than what Yellen admitted major banks were participating in. The Bitcoiners became so angry that the issue spilled over into shitcoin Twitter, where even the pea brains expressed their frustration at the double standard. Many shitcoiners did however applaud the idea of looser financial controls as a potential means to promote their projects more.

Optimist Fields, the co-host of the YouTube show Simply Bitcoin, shared a different opinion on the matter by saying, “I thought Lagarde was hot before, but threatening to assassinate Janet Yellen makes her a complete boss. Everybody knows I have a massive crush on her and have a poster of her in my room”. Nico immediately spoke to the YouTube censors explaining that, “Simply Bitcoin does not condone assassination, guys. Please don’t downrank us in the algo.”

Jerome Powell has not yet commented on Yellen’s remarks, but it is likely that he will be responding shortly. Many are speculating that he also supports Yellen’s request to deregulate the banks, though it is unlikely that he will be as transparent as she was. Many other leaders such as President Biden have yet to comment on the matter, and the world awaits the reactions of Biden’s handler with great anticipation.

One clear takeaway from this whole situation is that the world’s leaders seem to be losing control not only over the narrative, but themselves, too. The Bitcoin Bugle hopes for more unhinged comments from the ruling class: If they say it, we will definitely print it in pursuit of the hardest hitting journalism you have ever seen. 

This article is featured in Bitcoin Magazine’s “The Withdrawal Issue”. Click here to subscribe now.

A PDF pamphlet of this article is available for download.

This is a guest post by Richard Greaser. Opinions expressed are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.